The Unbroken Stillness I

A 2-hour melodic ambient suite, improvised live on Twitch.

Released: 10/1/2024 12:00:00 AM

Suite musicale improvisée ambiante et mélodique n°1. This is a complete show I improvised and recorded live, featuring ambient & melodic elements, on Twitch during one of my "Musique minimaliste et petite" show on September 12, 2024.

Whenever I improvise music or a whole show, I like to put myself in a mental headspace/context to guide the flow of creativity. This was a rare time I was able to stay in the same context for a full show. The Unbroken Stillness I was loosely inspired by the last few years of my life leading to change, upheaval, stumbles, falls, and what I'm hopeful will be growth.

I hope the music resonates and connects with you as it has me.

Track List

1. Thesis & Gathering - I usually like to start my improvised shows with a thesis, something that will set the tone for the whole show. I usually come up with an idea for the thesis in the few minutes before I go live, then build from there. If the first improvised song around the thesis's idea goes well, I know I'm in for a good stream. This one was one of my faves I've ever come up with, and brings in melodic themes & chords from my first 18 months streaming.
2. The Far-Off Storm Will Arrive - The piano loops, I bring in a pad sound I've been using since 1993 off of my vintage rackmount synth that's become a bit of a signature of mine, and then I had this cello melody pop into my head. You can try to avoid the storm that you see on the horizon, but it will usually still engulf you, sooner or later.
3. Standing at the Edge - Next the vibe went a little more drone, a little more textural… the deep breath before the plunge. The primary synth here is based off of guitar string resonances.
4. Always Fall, Always Climb - I wanted relentless growth and rising here, but without drums. It's the first appearance of another signature sound of mine, the reverse piano/bell texture. The guitar string synth is reinforced with low rumbles as it keeps climbing.
5. Sadness's Echoes - I finally brought in my voice + harmonizer, deep in the distance. It's joined by a floaty, ambient electric guitar, and echoes some of my favorite themes from my time streaming.
6. Dusk & Epilogue '02 (Chorus 9-12-24 Version) - This is the first full-circle moment of the show, bringing together something from deep in my past with something more recent. I composed "Epilogue" back in 2002, and "Chorus" first was improvised June 10, 2023, in one of my early streams.
7. The Yearning After - Going back to my past for "Dusk & Epilogue '02" made me think back to my childhood, and the constant desire I had to learn ALL THE THINGS, and even after I'd quench that yearning I still wanted more. The world was so bright, so open, so full of possibilities and things to learn and things to do. I bring in a music box-like bell instrument here, and the somewhat singsong vocal line came to me as the song developed.
8. Forgotten, Tempests Knock - But, enough reminiscing. We can look backwards towards better times, but the here and now still waits for us. My world contracts here with a solo analog pad from one of my vintage synths, giving way to piano.
9. A Crumbled Soul - Piano takes over with the type of melancholy piece I would improvised sitting at the (admittedly somewhat janky) upright piano we had for a few years. It alternates between a sad waltz and contemporary chord dissonance.
10. Offering to Mnemosyne - Mnemosyne: the Goddess of Memory, History, and Storytelling. Growing up Greek, I was of course really into mythology. I appreciated that the Ancient Greeks dedicated a member of their pantheon to memory, history, and stories. With my mom in the throes of dementia during this show (and since having passed away), plus my own memory issues due to a lifetime of abusing my brain and lack of sleep, fear of forgetting important things -- meetings, partings, life events -- is a common theme in my music. This offering is presented starting with the ambient electric guitar and then replaced by textural violas & cellos.
11. Metempsychosis - "the supposed transmigration at death of the soul into a new body." The upheaval in my life and trying to find my way after felt like a death of the old and the beginning of the new. The "Offering to Mnemosyne" transitions into this, where it's joined by voice and a granular pad as I mentally transitioned away from the past to the future.
12. Le piano électrique et le passage du temps - "The electric piano and the passage of time." The synths enter a holding pattern evocative of time passing while I improvise on the electric piano. Healing and growth just takes time. I had to learn to be willing to take that time.
13. As a Child - And, during the passage of that time I took, I tried to think about the resiliency children have, myself included. Maybe it's because, as we age, the complexities of life make the times that you're hurt or the times that you hurt others leave so many deeper, indelible scars? Maybe the plasticity of a child's mind leaves them more able to deal with and heal from hurt? I don't know. As this song progresses, a kind of mind-poking higher granular synth grows; I wanted it to feel a bit like a gnawing in your brain.
14. Ineventualities of Thought - The sound here was inspired by playing the pipe organ in my childhood church (with a bell appearing here and there). We can run from our thoughts -- lord knows, I tried, for decades -- but they arrive just the same, much like the storm in track 2.
15. Bournonville Mutations - This is a shifting of gears. I often think in terms of choreography or dance in my improvisations, and in my mind's eye I could picture dancers onstage weaving and floating through the air. August Bournonville, was a 19th century dancer and ballet master, credited with creating 'a uniquely Danish way of dancing." The writer and ballet critic Ebbe Mørk says one of Bournonville's most distinctive features is “the illusion of imponderable lightness.' Polyrhythms and mutating arpeggios fill this piece.
16. Shifts of Time and Space - We now give in fully to a vibe, with hardware & software providing me the ability to do intricate piano arpeggios, turning the instrument into more of a texture than a melodic instrument. The time ramps between deliberate and impossibly fast, serving as an introduction to…
17. Self-Similar System - This song is a fractal. Around 6? 7? different piano instruments all take the same melodic line, but at different multipliers of speed and sound.
18. A Place That's Yours and Mine (Unbroken Stillness I Version) - The original is a vocal & synth song I improvised in 2023, and this instrumental version hearkens back to it but with a very different vibe. The lyrics of the original are, "if we can look we’ll find / a day that comes in time / a place that’s yours and mine / the light that’s in our eyes / a life that’s yours and mine."
19. Leaps of the Heart - A synth arpeggio I use in a couple of songs enters as the heart opens, to try and evoke feelings of awakening and, well, leaps of the heart.
20. And After? - What comes next? This is more a transitionary piece, but as the leaps from the previous fade, stillness arrives again.
21. Touch Forever (Unbroken Stillness I Version) - My signature pad returns for this instrumental version of Touch Forever, joined by a theme I first wrote in 1995, and heading towards a Byzantine chant-inspired denouement and another quick musical reference to "Epilogue."
22. Song for the Pacing - I pace a lot. I think, I walk. This deliberate, slow piece is trance-like, with my ambient vocals coming in at points. This is what my brain feels like in the deep of night when I'm pacing, and thinking.
23. When is Then - And, peace arrives, when "when" becomes "then." As a kid going to Greek Orthodox church, some of our holy days' services would feel endless. Holy Week leading to midnight liturgy for Easter was the biggest gauntlet of them all. 40 days of fasting, the last few days being very aggressive and traditional with literally no food from morning until receiving Communion after the midnight resurrection, would leave me feeling energized and with a remarkable clarity. I'd stare out of the window in the car ride home at 2am or so, feeling reborn and refreshed, but with an incredible sense of calm… or, an unbroken stillness.
24. Forever Is (Chorus 6-10-23) - And we have come to the end. During this show, I went through so much of my life, so many of my memories. I had no idea where the show would go -- being fully improvised and all -- but it turned into what you hear now. And so, the full "Chorus" finally arrives, in a new form and with a new name: Forever Is. I don't know what lies ahead. I've made a new life for myself. In the process, I've both hurt people I care about & myself and I've uplifted people & myself as well. But this song is my prayer. All we can do is face the storms, face our memories, and continue looking skyward as we climb. Forever is what we make it.

Much love to everyone for your ongoing support, and I hope you loved The Unbroken Stillness as much as I do.

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